As we grow up, we go through phases in life where everything seems to be going down the drain, pain seems to be winning the quiet battles we don’t talk about.
Today’s article focuses on me, a young lady that is stuck between crossroads. After losing my job and a relationship with a man I have known for eight years. I’m left questioning all of my life choices. I don’t know whether I should go forward or backward or actually get back to the drawing board to redirect.
With no one else to listen to me, the silent loud voices in my mind scream louder than ever. It’s a mixture of self-doubt, criticism, and negativity that threatens to consume me whole.
The world around me seems to fade away, leaving only the echoes of my own thoughts. Echoes of the jokingly real statements that everyone around me has made.
In moments like these, it’s hard to remember that I’m not alone. Many have walked this path before me, and many more will follow. Yet, the feeling of isolation is overwhelming.
I try talking to my mom but I don’t want her to cry with me so I don’t tell her some details. My siblings, a perfect replacement to tell but I’m their elder sister. The strong rock that never breaks.
My relationship has crumbled; something I never thought could happen. Maybe I expected it but I didn’t see it coming in such a time.My Job has gone down the drain, and family seems distant. The pillars that once held me up have all collapsed at once, leaving me to face the darkness within.
The voice in my mind replays every mistake, every misstep, and every perceived shortcoming. It’s a cruel narrator, one that refuses to let me forget.
I slowly see myself go back to the old depressed version I fought hard to get rid of. I know I have been here once so it couldn’t be hard to come out of this. But is my heart so heavy, why can’t I breathe well. Why does it seem like I’m drowning. Has depression gained a new definition, why does it always have to be me.
But then I get a notification on my phone, it’s an old friend that is looking for advice, her problems are beyond mine. Not like I wish others bad but it’s a relief I’m not suffering alone. There’s worse in the world.
Realization of the voices in my head
I come to realize that this voice is not mine alone. It’s a product of the world’s expectations, of societal pressures, and of the weight of my own expectations. It’s a voice that can be silenced, but not without effort. I’ve learned to acknowledge its presence, to confront its criticisms, and to challenge its narratives.
In the silence, I’ve found solace in the words of others who have walked this path. Their stories, their struggles, and their triumphs have given me strength. I’ve discovered the power of self-compassion, of treating myself with kindness and understanding. I’ve learned to be gentle with myself, to acknowledge my flaws, and to celebrate my victories.
The journey is far from over. There will be days when the voice screams louder, when the darkness seems insurmountable, and when hope feels lost. But I’ve come to understand that it’s okay to not be okay. It’s okay to stumble, to falter, and to struggle. For in the depths of despair, there’s a glimmer of hope – a hope that I can find my way back to the light.
As I navigate this treacherous landscape, I’m reminded that I’m not alone. There are others who walk beside me, who understand my struggles, and who offer their support. Together, we can find our way through the darkness, and emerge stronger, wiser, and more compassionate.
Depression in Africa: A Silent Cry for Help
In the end, it’s not about silencing the voices entirely – it’s about learning to live with it, to navigate its criticisms, and to find peace amidst the chaos. It’s about discovering that even in the darkest moments, there’s a spark of hope that can guide me forward.
